The narcissistic person really does not see anything but themselves, in everything. They cannot see beyond their own pain, their own needs, their own desires. They will stomp you out in order to get what they want. They also really do feel that they are perfect, in every way, on every level. They will not understand if you try to confront them about their incorrect behaviour. they just do not see it. Metaphysically, they have chosen to come here and turn off a part of their heart, on purpose!, in order to see the lessons of what this can cause. for whatever reason!! I find it fascinating that people would want to come here with a closed heart, but then again, I am here, trying to make sense of this weird planet, just like you ;-)
I have seen some that really wanted to explore finding their own inner acceptance, their own inner love and their own inner beliefs and confidence. They have tried over many lifetimes and they managed to learn a bit, but not as much as they would have liked. So, they up the ante and they organize to have a REALLY difficult life with narcissistic people surrounding them, so that they HAVE to find their own acceptance, because no one else will ever accept them.
This is such a hard lesson to set yourself up with, but after this life, it will be a very valuable learning point and you will learn so much about emotion. In order to truly set up such an unloving and cold environment, you needed to be put into a family or many connections with people lacking the ability to accept you. Because of your big, beautiful and sensitive hearts, it was very important that you select humans to be around you that had that part of themselves switched off, as your extreme love would crank open even the most closed heart. And so, they had to be totally devoid of the ability to love anyone beyond themselves, so that they could not risk you <healing them>
When one is born to a narcissist, they can either rebel or become the same. Psychologically, it is human nature to want to please your parents by denying who you are in order to become more like them, so that they will accept you (or so you think at the time, and so you will actively deny parts of who you are in order to be more <pleasing> to your parents). Narcissistic parents have a hard time accepting children that are not like them, as they genuinely cannot see why the child should be anything BUT them. They just cannot see. It can be upsetting, but you were not put on this earth to be someone else. shake them, their judgement, their lack of emotion/love/care off and be YOU It is very hard to be in a family of narcissists.
Despite my horrendous family who have dedicated their life to tearing me down, my sister and my narcissistic mother both twist the facts to suit themselves, and that way they can gang up on me and make me the one who is wrong...it has been happening since I was a little girl-as long as I can remember, I never felt real love from my mother, despite my non stop attempts to receive love...and they were constantly trying to make me feel like there is something wrong with me, to the point of despair, extreme inner anger (in me) and then illness. I was always so wrong in their eyes, and I truly thought I was just undeserving of existing or being valid on this planet...to the point that I did try to end things, several times. However, if you were to talk to the narcissists who guided me on this path, they would deny it vehemently, claiming they were <perfect> and that it was all me. what a wonderful learning lesson for me to now be able to see.
It was only when I really started to see the narcissists around me, and understand just how messed up THEY are, that I started looking at myself with different eyes, and started to heal from it. I share this because I truly thought that something was wrong with me, that I was damaged, that I was inferior or that I did not deserve to exist on this planet. It got MUCH worse after my second child, because I was terrified of what I might do to her, considering what had been done to me. I tore pieces out of myself, terrified that I was a failure. I finally pulled myself up, seeing how sensitive I was, and I began the path to understand the narcissists that surrounded me (like a coven of witches) trying to hurt me, like cavemen poking an animal that they are trying to kill.
PLEASE recognize the lesson you have set up for yourself. You really did want this, in order to truly accept yourself. It is bloody hard! I know-trust me, I really know!!! I did this, too, and I have only finally set myself free from it all!!
I realize that I have a beautiful, huge heart, and that I LOVE to make others feel love, and find love in their hearts. You are amazing at opening up people's hearts and helping them find love inside. The narcissist only cares about their own needs, their own achievements and they think they are the best thing on the planet...even when they are a horrible asshole...they just don't see that....it is funny, apparently my younger biological sister has been posting about my life with mental illness, in an attempt to make me look stupid or weak, I guess. For me, mental illness is the curse of the strong, after years of having to deal with narcissist family members...eventually they break you down and YOU think you are worthless...which is exactly what I used to feel, and what YOU are feeling, my dear. It is at these times that the ones who LOVE you will hold out their hands, open their hearts, and ask you to come take refuge until you feel strong enough to step back out. We may not be right beside each other, but there are plenty of us offering you that heart space xoxoHang in there, there is love everywhere.. xoxo